I made an agreement with myself and was committed to take action.

So I went home and hugged my parents and told them I love them. Because I really do love them, but I've never shown nor said it. There was no point in holding back any longer.

It took an unbelievable amount of courage to take a risk and be honest with myself for the first time.

I just changed my life. (:

Hello 2009. Didn't usher in the new year, slept through the countdown which was really, well, fine for me, though it's the first time for a long long while(: Spent almost 3/4 of 2008 working, 1/4 schooling, breaking the life pattern I got so used to for as long as I can remember. I'm really glad I tried my best at everything I priotised in 2008, & actually stuck to 4 out of 5 of my resolutions which is really a (Y)(Y)(Y) accomplishment. Even the secret 6th resolution is a done deal- I've finally moved on(:0 Yayness + high five with imaginary hand

My 2008:
A Level Results(N); Birkart+Borders+BBDC; Cainiaos/CAP 4.2; Drop-crotch pants; Expectations; FPITW,FASS,F1; GongGong=(; Halloween+HSJ; iKill :D; JChai er ren shi jie; Ke Bo/Karma/Kbox; Laptop's 4th Birthday; MS1102E gahhh; Nishikido Ryo(Y)+Nike Human Race; Online Shopping Overkill<--->Overdressed Muggers ; Procrastination; Qualified Driver; Rafael Nadal #1 woohoo; Sashimi/S4 @ Khoo's/Sentosa/SSA1201(Y); The Killers/Too-Cool-For-Facebook/Topman; Unglam Camp Moments/Unexpectedly Friendly Face/Uni Life; Vintage=The New New; Weekend Sleep Marathons/We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things; 喜怒哀乐; Yamada Ryosuke!; 08082008.

For 2009:
`Control Expenditure
`CAP 4.5
`Happier Family
`Healthy Bodyclock
`Exercise

Last 8 months being a teen. I'm so not ready for the 20s club yet T.T Would rather retake MS1102E 3 times than turn 20 gahhhh. Note to self: Next post on holidays before sem 2 starts.

我不爱　不要爱悲伤的存在
我不爱　你不在还以为能继续的爱
以为再也回不来
再等待等什么
没有你没有爱存在


Yanzi + FPITW + Mr Bean Icecream = (Y)(Y)(Y) x infinity
<3 singing awesome obscure songs & hogging the mike without a care in the world. *insists I'm a pro at lyrics
Other fpitw activities left include 3am supper + lying on the road + harry potter wedding + s** movies ahem youknowwhatimean.


On a side note, I like the way things are now yay. (:

I was looking through saved MSN conversations. The other day serene&jiayi mentioned what the heck do I do at home cos I don't talk to people online. Just in case people I do talk to think I save all their conversations- no I don't. Just a few I think are important enough. Briefly reflecting through this year I'm really glad I did something good for myself. Just that one thing. But on the other hand my 'being genuinely nice' resolution came to slap me on the face. I think I really betrayed someone's trust and might have lost a 'friend'. Whether it's a good or bad thing isn't the main point. This year I've been playing the role of function #2 (see below) and sometimes I wish people would just....not trust me. Saying things like 'I trust you with my life' more often than not feels like a burden to me. Because I am not someone who lives up to 'expectations'. Everyone I'm going to quote in this entry will probably agree. The extent of karin chai being 'antisocial' isn't just wordplay. I seriously need more alone time than everyone I know. And being trusted doesn't make me feel good about myself. It does the opposite. Because I cannot reciprocate. I think I've been constantly improving but oh well. Knowing that I myself will achieve whatever I want makes me reject those notions of giving and receiving. Perhaps deep down this is the way I move on. And moving on is the one good thing I've done for myself this year.

--------------------------------

i see dead people says:

Main Entry:
Ka·rin Listen to the pronunciation of Karen
Pronunciation:
\kə-ˈrin\
Function:
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural Karin or Karins
Date:
2008
1: a complicated animal which tends to grow unnoticingly fat sometimes.
2: a device to store secrets, subjected to 1 terrabyte of storage space. (Caution: may explode if overloaded)
3: a person who rahhhs here and there when not given attention (may appear as irritating to some)

© KYS


(   )